Mom in Heels...

It's hard to be a mom in heels... both ligistically and figuratively. Carrying a baby around while wearing sky high heels is not easy. And being a working mom - challenging to say the least. Our family is certainly blessed with an awesome babysitter who loves and cares for our boys, grandparents who live close and are happy to pitch in and help whenever needed, and jobs where our employers are flexible with time off or working from home if needed.

So today I'm home from work. With a sick Dave and a somewhat sickly Dilly too. It's hard to find a balance. I'm spending "nap time" doing some work from home. It works well but I feel guilty. Guilty I'm not giving 100% to work today but utimately guilty that I'm worried about work while I'm home with my babies. Whatever I do or don't get done for work today is doable, and the boys will be fine watching some cartoons after a nap as well... but there is just something about not giving 100% of my energy and feeling torn that makes me feel... icky.

I know I'm a good mom. I'm a loving and supportive wife. I'm a honest and hard-working employee.I'm a good friend/daughter. But sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough. The best anyone can do is to try though. So I'm off... to try to make the best of today. I'll work while the boys are asleep and snuggle them when they are up - and when Jeremy gets home tonight from fishing (yes, Tuesday night is fishing/boys night) I'll give him a kiss and tell him I love him. Because I'll give everything I can to that what's important to me... my husband, my children, my family, my job and my friends.

CPR

I've been M.I.A. I'm aware. Life is busy. Summer is going by so fast and I'm lazy. I'd rather play with the boys, read a book, work, get some sun... anything but get on the computer. But here I am, with about two months worth of pictures. I'm trying to revive the blog... Jeremy said CPR might not do it, but I'm going to try!

June is about the craziest and most expensive months for our family. Both boys were born in June so it seems like we are just going and going this month. In chronological order...

 

In late May, we met up with some friends (Joni and Jeffrey) at my favorite outside bar area in Aggieville... Kite's. Also the best place to get a summer beer if you want one! :) We then headed to the new Japanese Steakhouse in Manhattan which was awesome!

   

I grew up the "baby" of most of my cousins on my mom's side of the family... They picked on me incessantly. Had a nickname for me as well... WB which stood for Whiny Butt. Needless to say, I loved it. I absolutely adored my cousins and am so glad I had such great people who loved me growing up. As an adult, I realize how easily it would have been for them to see me as a truly annoying little cousin (which I was), but they didn't. They all drug me around with them on vacations, tolerated me and even spent time actually playing with me. I think about those days with a big grin on my face and count myself very lucky to have these "cool" older cousins to be my friends. :)

My cousin Doug (who I nicknamed Conehead growing up) biked in a race in Kansas called the "Dirty Kanza". It was a 200 mile race on the dirt and gravel roads of Kansas. There was a stop in Council Grove so my family met up and waited for him to arrive. We only were able to touch base with him for a few minutes but I was so glad we made the time to be there.

My nephew, Josh, while we were waiting. He's a monkey and just climbed right into that tree. Dave was so jealous... I think he wished he could be "cool" like cousin Josh.



The boys waiting...

We had Dilly's birthday party at the park this year. It was very windy. There was supposed to be a caterpillar theme but it didn't go off as planned because of the wind. Apparently, I'm not set up to be one of those cool moms with a "Pinterest worthy" party. As you can see below... pretty sure the star of the day didn't care!

Poor kid - his cake was supposed to be red... not pink!

Probably my favorite picture of the entire day.



Pre-Smash



Cake was covering his entire stomach!

Smiling at Lolly

We opened presents...



The boys got a firetruck to share between the two of them from Grandma and Papa (my parents). Dill is currently sharing it with cousin Parker though. : )



He loves pushing his chair around, but unfortunately is just to busy to take a seat!

New crocs from Grandma and Grandpa (Jeremy's parents). For some unknown reason, both of the boys LOVE crocs. Maybe it's because they can get them on and off so easily? Not sure, but they both wear them all the time.

Water gun!

Cousin Josh

Granny Lolly and Mike

Running to Grandma

When I saw this picture of Lolly and Dill, I immediately thought of the picture of Troy and Dave at his first Christmas. It amazes me how different and yet similar the two boys are!

Awkward family photo #1

Awkward family photo #2

The girls.

My niece Abbey and Dillon swinging

Poor Dave gets the short end of the stick. Jeremy is not a fan of big birthday parties. So, until the boys get older and tell us what they want to do for their b-day party, we've decided after the 1st to just have cake and ice cream with family at home. Dave's birthday was on a Monday and Grandma Lori had to work and Papa Sam was having (and still is) back problems, so it was a small get together. Nikki and Josh made the drive from Abilene and Grandma Betty and Grandpa Richard were there.

Dave, like many other 3 year-old boys, can be a goober at times. It's rare that we get a decent picture of him. He's such a cute little guy but screaming "CHEESE" at the camera does not usually make for good pictures!

Dave blew out the candles 3 times... He was just having too much fun!

I made cupcakes in ice cream cones for Dave to take to daycare and I didn't have the energy to make another cake for home, so we had them for our party at home too. They actually were pretty good, although I would suggest making them and eating right away... ours were a bit soggy!





Reading very intently.

Jeremy and I are very likely some of the cheapest people I know... thrifty I guess is a better term. However, we splurged and bought the boys a gator Powerwheels toy for their birthday. We gave it to them at Dave's b-day because we knew Dill wouldn't care, but it was for the two of them to share. Now, when I say cheap... I also mean that my parents and Jeremy's parents both went in on buying the gator too. :)



Proof of a "cheese" picture.

Peek-A-Boo with Grandpa

Jeremy and I went to a Royals game with our friends Jeffrey and Joni. It was a Friday night game, which was awesome, except it went into 14 innings! Yikes... makes for a long game - and then we didn't even win!

The happy couple.

Big Beers. These were like $10 a piece! CRAZY!

From Lolly

I've posted a few times about my parents and my adoption story. It's a great story to tell because it is happy when so many times a story like this could be sad... You can read about it here and a note from my mom here. I asked Leilani to write something if she felt comfortable.

Last weekend, Jeremy, the boys and I went to Kansas City to the zoo, to Laken's dance recital and had dinner with Leilani, Mike and Laken. Hopefully more to come on that soon. They gave Dave a birthday present (he turns three on Monday!) and Leilani had a present for me as well...

From my Leilani...

"Today my 19 year old daughter boarded a plane to be half way across the country for 9 weeks.  It nearly tore my heart out.  I raised her & know her. I know that she is bright, independent, aware of stranger danger and prepared for the world. I know that she loves God and keeps Christ in her heart.  I know that she's absorbed the life lessons I've repeated over and over again.  And yet it still brought more tears to my eyes than I thought possible. 

Almost 28 years ago I gave a baby up for adoption.  I never held her.  I never even saw her.  People look at me funny when they learn that.  Birth mothers are advised to say "goodbye" to their baby. The fact of the matter is – she was never mine.  I believe every baby is a blessing.  When I discovered that I was pregnant, after the initial shock, God spoke to my heart and I knew that this baby wasn't MY blessing. And the fact of the matter is – I knew my own limitations and weakness. How could I hold her, count her fingers and toes, look in her eyes, hear her cries and then hand her over to someone else to raise and love? 

I found that God was asking me to trust in Him.  Obviously, I hadn’t done a good job of that to this point or I would not have been in this situation.  And despite the well intentions of family & friends telling me keep the baby, I stood firm and followed God’s prompting.  Don’t misunderstand me, I’m no saint.  I was not then and am not now.  I am just a recipient of God’s forgiveness, love, grace & mercy. 

I was granted peace in the decision and follow through of giving her up for adoption.  Through the years, there were some difficult times when I thought of her.  Through the years, there were a lot of times that I just smiled and thanked God for taking care of her.  Isn’t that funny?  The same could be said for the two children I’m raising. 

There’s a history story on me.  There’s a story in Amanda’s birth.  There’s a story in the waiting time from when she turned 18 and I knew it was possible for her to contact me and I wondered if that was in God’s plan or not.  And there’s a story of God’s reward for me when I first met her 9 years ago and was accepted by her and her wonderful parents.  But let’s jump to today.  My 19 year old daughter will be gone for the next 9 weeks and the baby, who was not mine, is coming to dinner with her husband and my two grandsons.  I could not be more blessed."

It is I who am truly blessed.

More Than Just a Dance Recital

I'm tired. I'm a little emotional. When I get tired, I tend to cry. And reminisce. And think.

Tonight was Thursday of our annual dance recital week. I sat there in my seat (between running backstage), and was in awe of what a dance recital means...

To me, the dance recital means:

• The littlest girls get a chance to overcome a fear of being up on stage with all the lights on, alone with no adult to run to. Some find this is their place in life, to perform and to be on stage, and some realize being the center of attention is harder than they can handle, but they so often push through and overcome the challenge of doing something new and foreign to them.  
• The little girls find what it means to look up to someone... to have someone they admire and want to grow up to be like.
• As the girls get older they find out to dance through a mistake, how to put a smile on when they are nervous, how to recover from losing a shoe/hairpiece/prop, how to take constructive criticism, and how to shine.
• The oldest girls learn to be good role models for those looking up to them. They squash their own nerves to perform like they've been trained for 10+ years. They are beautiful and wonderful and make us old dancers remember those days and be proud of them.

There was so much promise up on the stage tonight. No matter where these girls end up in life, they will always have the memories of performing and being cheered for. We live in a wonderful world, but sometimes the world can be difficult. I hope that every single dancer on stage tonight knows and remembers that they are loved by the audience, their family and last but not least their dance instructors.

Week of Dates

I must be a pretty popular girl this week because I've actually had a week of dates. Or, for someone who doesn't get out much, actually something going on!

My dad and I went to the movies on Tuesday evening. We ate a HUGE bucket of popcorn, drank way too much soda, and loved the movie. We saw "The Avengers" and it was perfect. It had a great balance of action, aliens, humor, and story line. I loved it. Funny story... my dad and I were sitting in the movie theater for about 15 minutes before the movie started. We got there early for two reasons. 1) I do not like to miss previews, period. 2) We were hungry and wanted some popcorn. In any case, we were waiting for the movie to start and chatting a bit. I took a picture of us with dad's phone so I could show him how to upload it to facebook - don't worry... I did give him the lecture about how his "friends" on facebook don't want to know what he's doing ever waking moment. So, thank you, if you happen to be my dad's friend. Well, dad had asked me several times if we were in the correct movie theater. I said exasperatedly, "Yes," but when no one came in for 15 minutes I had a bad feeling. Yep, we had gone into the theater for the 7:00 showing not the 6:05 showing! So we laughed all the way out and went to the proper theater. Thankfully, we caught on in time to see the previews. :)

My list of "must-see's" from the previews:

• Men In Black 3 - I was skeptical at first but it actually looks pretty good.
• Snow White and the Huntsman
• The Amazing Spiderman
• The Dark Knight Rises
• Frankenweenie - A little out of my usual picks but it actually looks pretty cute!

Ha Ha! The picture we unsuccessfully tried to upload to my dad's facebook.

Friday Night we went to our friend's house for a barbecue. It was a fun night. We hung out with Jeffrey, Joni and their kiddos, Lucas, Maggie and Parker and our family. It's so nice because the kids play pretty good together and we all love to hang out so it makes for a fun evening! I stole a few pictures from Joni's facebook from the night.

The boys playing and Jeremy and Lucas supervising

Dave on the trampoline. Doesn't he look like such a big boy?

Saturday night we hit Manhattan and ate at UMI Steakhouse, the new Japanese steakhouse in Manhattan. It was so good and we had a great time. After dinner we went to Kite's and had a few drinks on the patio. I don't remember Kite's having a patio outside when I was in college but it's so nice! They have t.v.s for sports watching and it's a relaxing atmosphere. We had a blast... and the Summer Beer. Yum!

I realize my "week of dates" is really only three dates. But when you are lucky to get out twice a month, this was an amazingly exciting week! :)

Little Moments

I live for the little moments with my boys...

Today when I was putting Dillon to bed, I was rocking him with his head on my shoulder and patting him on the back. His little arm wrapped around my neck and started patting my back. I guess I didn't realize that I do that every time I rock him. It seriously made my heart melt.

These days

I've been hoping to blog... I have... but LIFE gets in the way.

When I'm driving to/from work, I always have things I want to put down, or blog about, but I never seem to get to it. So for lack of a better post, I'm just filling in on what is going on these days.

Lime-A-Ritas

Seriously... if you have not had these yet, they are a must. It tastes like a Summer Beer. But be careful! They may sneak up on you if you've had more than one! Super Yummy!!!



source

C25K

I've been running. Or more like attempting to run. If you know me very well - watching me run is not pretty. So, I started the Couch to 5K program. I'm only on the end of the second week. I'm really trying to make this a priority and to not put off the days I'm "scheduled" to run. I've been doing this in the evenings after I put Dill to bed and Dave is watching his cartoon and winding down. The program is set up for the work out to be about 30 minutes for each workout, which is great, because I think that's the only amount of time I can commit to working out. A half hour is better than what I was doing before though, which is NOTHING!



Yard Work

Every weekend, my husband cracks the chore whip and makes a list, that I contribute to, of everything that we need to accomplish that weekend. The past few weekends have included working on the flower beds in the back yard. Actually, my mom and I had a little tutorial of "what to do in the garden" which consisted of me watching her and trying to pick up everything I didn't pay attention to when I was growing up. I have some before and after pictures but I'll try to post them when I have some of the front yard also. It's not a drastic transformation but definitely much, much better.



My Guys

It's amazing how much my love grows each day for my boys. David's vocabulary is getting so big, he's constantly cracking me up with all of his comments and gestures. We were on a walk the other day and saw Dave's babysitter. For some reason he thought he needed to introduce us to her (even though we are good friends with her and her family). We he introduced us he did so as "My mommy, my daddy, my Dillon and my Bella." He's also been wearing no shirt to bed at night and asks me, "Mommy, can I wear my tummy tonight!"

Dave wearing his tummy.

Dilly is saying "night, night" now and is toddling around a bit. He'll walk about 8-10 steps without holding our hands but we have to encourage him to do it. He's not quite interested in walking on his own. He is also getting a little personality and giggling at himself and at us. I thought he was going to be my quiet baby but that might not be the case! :)

With Uncle Steven.

And of course, I can't forget my first guy and my awesome hubby. I saw this on pinterest today and WILL be making/buying for our bedroom when I redo it, which is on the list of to-do's for the future.

source - 320 Sycamore blog

I love this quote. And it fits Jeremy and I perfectly. "It Was Always You"

Happy Monday!