It's hard to be a mom in heels... both ligistically and figuratively. Carrying a baby around while wearing sky high heels is not easy. And being a working mom - challenging to say the least. Our family is certainly blessed with an awesome babysitter who loves and cares for our boys, grandparents who live close and are happy to pitch in and help whenever needed, and jobs where our employers are flexible with time off or working from home if needed.
So today I'm home from work. With a sick Dave and a somewhat sickly Dilly too. It's hard to find a balance. I'm spending "nap time" doing some work from home. It works well but I feel guilty. Guilty I'm not giving 100% to work today but utimately guilty that I'm worried about work while I'm home with my babies. Whatever I do or don't get done for work today is doable, and the boys will be fine watching some cartoons after a nap as well... but there is just something about not giving 100% of my energy and feeling torn that makes me feel... icky.
I know I'm a good mom. I'm a loving and supportive wife. I'm a honest and hard-working employee.I'm a good friend/daughter. But sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough. The best anyone can do is to try though. So I'm off... to try to make the best of today. I'll work while the boys are asleep and snuggle them when they are up - and when Jeremy gets home tonight from fishing (yes, Tuesday night is fishing/boys night) I'll give him a kiss and tell him I love him. Because I'll give everything I can to that what's important to me... my husband, my children, my family, my job and my friends.