Time Keeper

It's been almost a month since my 28th birthday. (September 24th) I was kinda grumpy that day. I had just finished reading "The Time Keeper" by Mitch Albom. If you've ever read any Mitch Albom books, they are usually a quick read. However, his books tend to "stick with me" for quite a while.

The Time Keeper

This particular book was (in a nutshell) about the first keeper of time and how tracking time has changed the world. It follows the story of two individuals, each who have a different wish of time. One wishes for time to stop and the other wishes for it to go on forever. What the book meant to me, was a reminder to not take any day for granted and to ensure that my time is spent fulfilling the vision I have for my life.

So, on my birthday, I was happy to spend it with my co-workers and family. I was certainly cognizant that I was given another year in this crazy life with a great job, good friends and a happy family. :)

Another from Lolly...

The only way I get a post on my blog... is if someone else writes it! Leilani sent me a post the other day for the blog.

We head to Disney World together in two weeks. I'm excited but a little apprehensive for her to see the "not so great" parts of me that pop out when traveling... such as... my crankiness in the morning, arguing with Jeremy on the phone (we always gripe at each other when we are apart), and I'm sure the list goes on! Plus, I get homesick after a few days. I'm gonna miss the crazy circus of being home. :) But I'm so excited to be in one of the most wonderful places on Earth with a very special person... I can't wait!

From Lolly...

"I had a happy childhood.  I felt and knew the love of both my parents.  Had a sister I was close to and we'd do anything for each other.  My parents fought behind closed doors and though they never alluded to it I was about 12 when I realized they would probably one day get divorced - I just always figured it would be after both my sister and I had graduated high school.  I was caught very unaware when my mother left just a couple of months before my 16th birthday. 

Even through this turmoil at home I really was a happy, well-adjusted teen.  I enjoyed school and my friends.  I don't recall many people asking but I'm sure, at the time, I would have said that everything was fine. 

I could tell you how my first long-time and serious boyfriend and I broke up on the same day that my mother walked out of our home.  Nearly the same moment - as we were sitting in his car in the driveway when my parents were sitting on the porch and I saw my mom get up and simply leave.  When I walked in the house I found my dad crying in the living room.  Discussing my first big break-up was not even an option.  

 I could tell you how my parent's divorce tore me apart in ways that no one saw, no one knew.  From the outside all looked fine and if you had simply asked I would have said so.  But if you dug just a bit deeper then you would have known my heart was not intact and I was on the brink of shattering.  

I could tell you how I felt ignored by the people in the church I grew up in.  A church I attended since the age of 5. A church my sister & I began attending even before my parents.  I don't recall anyone coming along side of me during or after the divorce. 

None of that really matters though.  Honestly, I did have a very good childhood and I loved my high school years.  I really was happy.  And I made my own choices.  I became fiercely independent.  As I began my senior year of high school I hadn't even thought of going to college.  My plan was to get married and have babies right away.  And that's what I was pushing Amanda's birth father into.  He didn't even know it.  I realize now I simply was not very nice to him.  I pressed the sex issue.  I don't know how he put up with me.  We broke up. 

I can say now that I was the main reason we could not make our relationship work.  I was old enough to take responsibility for my own actions but young enough to not realize just how my parent’s divorce was affecting me.  If you had asked me then I would have said I was fine. In reality, I was trying to force the people around me to be something ideal in my mind.  A short time later I discovered I was pregnant.  We did try to get back together but at that point God was already pulling me back to Him.  

Back to the point, I'm a believer - since the age of 10 - have always been very secure in that - never doubted.  What I didn't realize was that God's love for me surpassed any other love I'd ever know.  And He'd do whatever it takes to make me realize it. And when I was tempted to look for the wrong kind of love I fell short and I didn't turn to God as I should have.

Why all this in Amanda's Blog when I'm supposed to be talking about her adoption story?  Because it is part of the story.  She wasn't an accident - she was and is God's plan.  I wasn't just some girl sleeping around.  Actually, I was rarely in trouble at school or home.  I'd like to say that I lived the straight & narrow after that but I'd be lying.  But I'm very glad that I followed that particular path that He led me to.  I'm very glad that I chose to give her life & a family.  And I'm very glad that Sam & Betty Young are her parents as they are beyond my wildest expectations – their willingness to share her astounds me.  And I’m very glad for the generations that will come because she was born. 

There was once a time when I could only imagine knowing her.  And there was a time when I convinced myself I'd be just fine now that I had met her and know what a wonderful life she’s had and if she chose to end our relationship now I'd continue to trust God and I'd be fine.  I hope that is still true.  But, honestly, now that she and her loving family are part of my family I simply cannot imagine my life without her. 

In less than 2 weeks I get to take a trip with Amanda.  Wow-28 years ago that was inconceivable.  Even 10 years ago I wouldn’t have dreamed of this.  But it’s a bit scary for me.  Ours is a unique relationship that is truly being created as we go.  There’s nothing to base it on – it is what we make it.  And I try to let her hold the reigns as I still don’t feel like it’s within my rights.  We’ve never spent this much one-on-one time together.  She’s probably going to see things in me she hasn’t seen before.  We are going to Disney World…I get a bit over the top when it comes to Disney.  She knows this.  But knowledge is different than experience J  Then again, we’ll both be wearing tiaras so I think we’ll be fine."

This Time of Year...

I always get very nostalgic this time of year. Working at K-State is awesome but driving by campus in early to mid-August is difficult. I have great memories of my time at K-State.  I was lucky enough to dance with the Classy Cats and summer practices, band camp and early morning games kicked my butt, but are also some of my very favorite memories. My freshman year, I went through rush. I LOVED rush and loved my sorority. I loved early mornings on campus, where there weren't many people out and loved the middle of the day when you'd walk through campus and would run into someone to talk to every 10 feet. I loved my college experience and reminice all of August... I'll probably be that parent trying to move into the dorms with their kids. :)

However, as I've gotten older, I actually have some regrets about my college years. Of course, I did stupid things that I'm not proud of, but those are not my regrets. I have a couple of really good friends from college, Molly and Rachel. I talk about them on here often. I was close to Emily Armstrong my senior year. We had the same major and were pretty much with each other 24/7. I wasn't "not myself" in college but I think I was always worried about what others thought of me and held back from my true personality. As I've matured, I've certainly not taken on my father's ideal of "I'm going to be myself and if you don't like me, I don't care..." but I've realized that it's much more important to be yourself than to have everyone like you. I still unfortunately care entirely too much about what other people think, but, I realize that you can't go through life trying to hide all your crazy and nuttiness. How boring it that?!?

Dill meets Barber Bill

When Dilly was born, he had somewhat of a mullet... I thought of it more like a Joh Ritter from Three's Company type hairstyle; more of a clean cut mullet.

source

Then of course, Dill lost the top and back like most babies do and ended up with a rattail. We waited until he had some more hair around his head and then it was time for the rattail to go! I mean... we are not in the late 80's or early 90's and that is one fad that should never come back!

Getting ready for the cut!

Off goes the rattail!

Dave waiting so patiently for Dill and dad to be done... see Dave's first haircut here.



Being 3 makes you an expert at most everything... in case you weren't aware. Dave will tell you.



Being 3 also can make you kind of a goober. Just ask Dave. :)





Dilly was so good the whole time.

Well... until the very end.

Mom in Heels...

It's hard to be a mom in heels... both ligistically and figuratively. Carrying a baby around while wearing sky high heels is not easy. And being a working mom - challenging to say the least. Our family is certainly blessed with an awesome babysitter who loves and cares for our boys, grandparents who live close and are happy to pitch in and help whenever needed, and jobs where our employers are flexible with time off or working from home if needed.

So today I'm home from work. With a sick Dave and a somewhat sickly Dilly too. It's hard to find a balance. I'm spending "nap time" doing some work from home. It works well but I feel guilty. Guilty I'm not giving 100% to work today but utimately guilty that I'm worried about work while I'm home with my babies. Whatever I do or don't get done for work today is doable, and the boys will be fine watching some cartoons after a nap as well... but there is just something about not giving 100% of my energy and feeling torn that makes me feel... icky.

I know I'm a good mom. I'm a loving and supportive wife. I'm a honest and hard-working employee.I'm a good friend/daughter. But sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough. The best anyone can do is to try though. So I'm off... to try to make the best of today. I'll work while the boys are asleep and snuggle them when they are up - and when Jeremy gets home tonight from fishing (yes, Tuesday night is fishing/boys night) I'll give him a kiss and tell him I love him. Because I'll give everything I can to that what's important to me... my husband, my children, my family, my job and my friends.

CPR

I've been M.I.A. I'm aware. Life is busy. Summer is going by so fast and I'm lazy. I'd rather play with the boys, read a book, work, get some sun... anything but get on the computer. But here I am, with about two months worth of pictures. I'm trying to revive the blog... Jeremy said CPR might not do it, but I'm going to try!

June is about the craziest and most expensive months for our family. Both boys were born in June so it seems like we are just going and going this month. In chronological order...

 

In late May, we met up with some friends (Joni and Jeffrey) at my favorite outside bar area in Aggieville... Kite's. Also the best place to get a summer beer if you want one! :) We then headed to the new Japanese Steakhouse in Manhattan which was awesome!

   

I grew up the "baby" of most of my cousins on my mom's side of the family... They picked on me incessantly. Had a nickname for me as well... WB which stood for Whiny Butt. Needless to say, I loved it. I absolutely adored my cousins and am so glad I had such great people who loved me growing up. As an adult, I realize how easily it would have been for them to see me as a truly annoying little cousin (which I was), but they didn't. They all drug me around with them on vacations, tolerated me and even spent time actually playing with me. I think about those days with a big grin on my face and count myself very lucky to have these "cool" older cousins to be my friends. :)

My cousin Doug (who I nicknamed Conehead growing up) biked in a race in Kansas called the "Dirty Kanza". It was a 200 mile race on the dirt and gravel roads of Kansas. There was a stop in Council Grove so my family met up and waited for him to arrive. We only were able to touch base with him for a few minutes but I was so glad we made the time to be there.

My nephew, Josh, while we were waiting. He's a monkey and just climbed right into that tree. Dave was so jealous... I think he wished he could be "cool" like cousin Josh.



The boys waiting...

We had Dilly's birthday party at the park this year. It was very windy. There was supposed to be a caterpillar theme but it didn't go off as planned because of the wind. Apparently, I'm not set up to be one of those cool moms with a "Pinterest worthy" party. As you can see below... pretty sure the star of the day didn't care!

Poor kid - his cake was supposed to be red... not pink!

Probably my favorite picture of the entire day.



Pre-Smash



Cake was covering his entire stomach!

Smiling at Lolly

We opened presents...



The boys got a firetruck to share between the two of them from Grandma and Papa (my parents). Dill is currently sharing it with cousin Parker though. : )



He loves pushing his chair around, but unfortunately is just to busy to take a seat!

New crocs from Grandma and Grandpa (Jeremy's parents). For some unknown reason, both of the boys LOVE crocs. Maybe it's because they can get them on and off so easily? Not sure, but they both wear them all the time.

Water gun!

Cousin Josh

Granny Lolly and Mike

Running to Grandma

When I saw this picture of Lolly and Dill, I immediately thought of the picture of Troy and Dave at his first Christmas. It amazes me how different and yet similar the two boys are!

Awkward family photo #1

Awkward family photo #2

The girls.

My niece Abbey and Dillon swinging

Poor Dave gets the short end of the stick. Jeremy is not a fan of big birthday parties. So, until the boys get older and tell us what they want to do for their b-day party, we've decided after the 1st to just have cake and ice cream with family at home. Dave's birthday was on a Monday and Grandma Lori had to work and Papa Sam was having (and still is) back problems, so it was a small get together. Nikki and Josh made the drive from Abilene and Grandma Betty and Grandpa Richard were there.

Dave, like many other 3 year-old boys, can be a goober at times. It's rare that we get a decent picture of him. He's such a cute little guy but screaming "CHEESE" at the camera does not usually make for good pictures!

Dave blew out the candles 3 times... He was just having too much fun!

I made cupcakes in ice cream cones for Dave to take to daycare and I didn't have the energy to make another cake for home, so we had them for our party at home too. They actually were pretty good, although I would suggest making them and eating right away... ours were a bit soggy!





Reading very intently.

Jeremy and I are very likely some of the cheapest people I know... thrifty I guess is a better term. However, we splurged and bought the boys a gator Powerwheels toy for their birthday. We gave it to them at Dave's b-day because we knew Dill wouldn't care, but it was for the two of them to share. Now, when I say cheap... I also mean that my parents and Jeremy's parents both went in on buying the gator too. :)



Proof of a "cheese" picture.

Peek-A-Boo with Grandpa

Jeremy and I went to a Royals game with our friends Jeffrey and Joni. It was a Friday night game, which was awesome, except it went into 14 innings! Yikes... makes for a long game - and then we didn't even win!

The happy couple.

Big Beers. These were like $10 a piece! CRAZY!