As promised... Part 1

In November, I posted many of the things/people/etc that I am thankful for. One of those posts was about Leilani/Mike/Miranda/Laken. I promised that I would share my story about being adopted and finding (and having a relationship with) my birth parents. It's a long story and I'll do my best to break it up so it doesn't get TOO long.

As a child, I always knew I was adopted. My parents told me for as long as I could remember. They read me this book growing up.

It's a funny cartoon book that shows parents getting kids out of a pop machine and explains that they adopted you (the child reading the book) because they couldn't have their own.

They also had a beautiful saying on the wall of our hallway.

Not flesh of my flesh

Nor bone of my bone

But still miraculously

My own

Never forget

For a single minute

You didn't grow under my heart

But in it.

I always knew my parents loved me and that they were my true parents. They always told me that my birth parents loved me so much, that they gave me to them. And its true.

As I started to get older, my mom started telling me the little things she knew about my birth parents. My mom told me most of the details she knew, mostly because I guess that's the kind of conversation I had with her and not my dad back then. It just never came up with my dad. But I'm fairly certain that my dad always knew what my mom had shared with me - in case I came asking...

I remember clearly being in the car when I was in middle school. I think I was in 6th grade. My mom started sharing some details of my adoption with me. She told me the lawyer that handled my adoption case from my parents side was from Council Grove. The lawyer that handled my birth parents side was from Kansas City but the brother of one of my dad's friends. Apparently, that's how the connection was even made. Side note, my mom sent a gift (flowers, card, or something) to both lawyers every year near my birthday to thank them for helping my parents get me. Is that not the sweetest? Back to the car ride... I can't remember exactly the details that came out but I do remember finding out that my parents had met my birth father before they left the hospital. He had been reluctant to go through with the adoption and wanted to meet my parents before he gave the final "okay." My parents used fake names when meeting him for safety's sake. My parents also had transferred vehicles several times after they left the hospital as the lawyer wanted to take extra precautions that they were not being followed. How funny is that!

A strange coincidence, I had this doll growing up that I loved. She was like my security blanket. Her name was "Cold Baby" because she was plastic and would get cold in the middle of the night. I still have her, and other than my children, husband & dog, would be the first thing I would grab if we had a fire and I wanted to save something. The strangeness of Cold Baby was that my birth mom's mother, Carol, had sent her, along with another stuffed animal, through our lawyers to me for my first birthday. I didn't know that until I was in middle or high school... but it always made her more special to me.

My parents had always told me that I could try to find out who my birth parents were when I graduated from high school. Legally, you can search for your biological parents at the age of 18, but I turned 18 at the beginning of my senior year, and they didn't want me to spend my senior year searching, and possibly disappointed with what I found.

The only other things I can remember talking about when I was little was just my parents reminding me over and over that I was their daughter and they think of me as much "theirs" as my brother, Troy, who's their biological child. They told me my birth parents wanted me but wanted to give me to a family that could give me what they couldn't. My mom did tell me when I was in high school that she thought my birth father's name was Devin and that both he and my birth mother were from the Kansas City area. I can remember looking into faces of people we'd see when we were shopping in Kansas City and wondering if they could be my birth parents. Little did I know, how close to them we actually were.

Part two to come soon!